How to make a child be patient and calm?
Patience is a skill that takes a lot of work to acquire and carry out, especially since we are talking about a time when everything is immediate. Technology has given us many benefits, including access to all our desires from the comfort of home or an app.
We must accept that our children are part of this new learning, which is not necessarily bad, it has many advantages, but it is true that patience is one of the elements that is least required by their environment. However, for moments of daily life, when for whatever reason things do not happen as you wish or in the time you expect, it is good to already have it developed; above all it will serve us for the area of learning and those things over which we cannot control; It will also help to find alternative solutions.
Here are seven points to work with your little one, which will allow you to help your child be more patient and calm when necessary.
1. Lead with the example
Many times we demand from our children skills that we have not yet managed to develop in ourselves. Young children have their greatest learning in models, so maybe there are things that you imitate but are obviously not aware of, whether it’s patience or impatience; he only implements it as part of his behaviors.
So the easiest way to start teaching them about patience is to actually do it. If possible, you can tell him why you act in a certain way, including the advantages of acting patiently; and so as he grows he will understand a little more about the subject.
2. Time and patience activities
Our children, sometimes learn without meaning to, which is why activities and games are the most dynamic means to teach them quickly and in a fun way. You can implement games that require time and patience, try to avoid virtual games since they are more immediate and have many stimuli that in one way or another prevent them from practicing this waiting or patience.
Board games are a good option, as they have rules, there are several participants so you must respect their times, they always have a process and require time, and there is always the possibility that you can win or lose, which means that your patience may need to be extended two or three more games. Thus, in turn, you work on other areas such as problem solving and memory. They can play puzzles, snakes and ladders, memorama, cards, Rubik’s cube, etc., preferably games of chance so that they get used to it; start with the games that most attract your attention or preferably those that require less time and then have games where the time increases.
3. Token economy
There are times when we usually reward the little ones with some things that they might like, as a result of their actions: it is something that can motivate the children and do them good, of course to a certain extent. What we recommend is that when you plan to do something like this, you use the token economy. In other words, it is about breaking up the task that must be done, let’s say at times, and granting tokens, paper coins, counterfeit bills, etc. during the process. For example: Do the housework, a coin when you finish your room, another when you finish the room, and so on, so that you begin to become aware of the process and get excited about each part and without greatly despairing of finishing. Once finished, they will be exchanged for the prize.
4. Breathing exercises
These will come in handy for those times when you experience frustration or feel hopeless. It helps above all to calm the physical discomfort and keeps the mind a little busy. To teach them to breathe, they should start with the types of breathing, ideally doing it from the stomach. It may feel weird but do it together.
When the air enters your body, you must inflate the stomach and when it comes out you are going to submerge it. Try not to puff out your chest when the air comes in, all the movement is in your stomach. This will allow more air to enter. Now the breaths can be done in times of five seconds (inhale), three (hold the air), and five (slowly release). They can use it whenever they need it.
5. Talk and listen
Communicating your thoughts and emotions is the best thing you can do, especially if you find yourself in a desperate moment. The idea is that he learns to give order to what happens to him. In the dialogue, you can also share what you feel, so both of you will know that you are not alone.
6. Troubleshooting
Part of the impatience is due to a belief that nothing better could happen than the event is presented as if there were no other possibility or something else to enjoy; it is then that problem solving will be very helpful.
These exercises will help you learn to look for options. They can be exercises in logic, mathematics, everything you find is helpful.
They can also apply it directly, when you have a problem or feel impatient, share your feelings with them and ask them what they think you should do, what solutions there are. You can also ask when it is happening to him or her.
7. Set intermediate goals and recognize small achievements
This point is essential, we recommend that you dedicate a good time of your day to it. Impatience is related to this idea that nothing important or meaningful is happening at that moment. This is a mistake and we must learn to remain calm with small actions or small achievements. You can start from contemplating the afternoon, a bird, anything around him, as well as every time he is doing something, you reflect on what he is achieving. Example: You must make a model, in each house that you make or tree that you make, paint or place, take your attention to mention everything they have achieved so that with all those small achievements you feel happiness progressively and constantly until the task is over. In the same way in any action that he carries out in his day, teach him to recognize all the small achievements.
We hope that these steps will help you to acquire the skill of patience, remember that you will just need it to start this beautiful learning in your little one.
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