And no, not everything is like we want it to be, and there are sometimes that our kids are rejected from a school we have chosen for them; maybe because is near the house, it’s not so expensive or because we liked the facilities they had. There are times that it’s not like this, and guess what? it’s not the end of the world.
It was a big surprise for me that my son applied to preschool and he was rejected, because I had on my mind that he could be more years studying there. But they told me that his personality is more for a “small school” because he’s not social and a little bit anxious.
My child was wrong? the school? or we as parents?
At first, I thought that my son behave in a wrong way, isolated or crying, making me look as a bad mom. After that, I thought that maybe he’s not like a would like him to be. But finally, I realized that maybe that school didn’t look the special and amazing my son is, but it’s not a mistake, that school believes that every child is happy all the time and creates stereotypes, and I think, that’s not what I want for him.
I trust in a school that goes beyond of a model child, a child that says hello to everyone and remains seated making homework or doing repetitions of letters in a notebook for several minutes. I believe in schools that develop different attitudes and skills in our childs that make reflect their personality and develop their own convictions.
In my case it was because my son is not very social, but it may be because they discriminate on the money, age, appearance or school where it comes from; let me tell you, if that was your case, do not feel anxiety because it was not accepted, and ask yourself
Is that the kind of thinking you would like for your children?
My tips are:
1.- Find a school that suits your son, not vice versa.
If your son wasn’t accepted in the school you thought it was the best for him, maybe it wasn’t, things happen for a reason. Probably if you put a lot of effort in the admission process, it will cost the double of effort to maintain him there; because if you or the employees of the school think there’s something wrong between the personality of your kid and the philosophy of the school, when the time passes it will be twice the difficult for him to open and develop in that environment.
It could be traditional school, a constructivist one or montessori, but always fine the right one for your kid.
2.- If your son was accepted or not, it doesn’t mean he’s not going to be successful, be sure of that.
If your child gets rejected by a school it doesn’t mean he’s a bad kid or he’s gonna be a bad student, it’s just the opinion of some people that made a quick diagnosis, you are his mother (or father) and you know him better than anyone and you will find the best for him. Just go for it and have success.
Many people go through denial, from kindergarten to college, and if it is in our hands to study more to get into a school (as would be the case of a university), you have to keep trying, but if you are not in your hands and the school gave you a definitive NO; Do not let it get to you and calm down; breathe, and look for a school that fits what you need. Explain to your child that school maybe now is not the best for him and tell him why.
Yes, it feels awful that your child gets rejected, but… maybe it’s the best that could happened, remember, there are a lot of schools and you’ll find the best where your child feels happy and comfortable.
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