Accepting that a mistake has been made is difficult even for an adult. Above all, assume the consequences. This is due not as such to the fact of committing it but to all the taboos and learnings we have. We are used to taking it up as something very bad. An event that we must avoid at all costs. This has to do with a parenting style. We learn from adults. The first step for our children to come to terms with their mistakes is to analyze all those beliefs. In this way, we will be able to modify what gives us the most fear. Let’s start with these points:
Show them how you solve your mistakes. It teaches that making mistakes doesn’t mean they’ll stop loving you.
Many times we believe that we can lose others if we make mistakes. Show your little one that there is no healthier way to foster communication and relationship with someone than through sincerity. You don’t need to hide your mistakes to make others want it. Avoid phrases like “if you do everything right I’ll love you more”.
Guide him in his first encounters with this natural part of the human being. Teach him how you face them. Give examples of what you do when something doesn’t go the way you want. This, of course, will involve the analysis and relearning of your reactions as an adult to mistakes. If you show anger or react by hitting, throwing things, or saying rudeness, rest assured that your child will imitate him. It’s the ideal time to learn how to make mistakes together.
Making a decision gives power. To err puts him before the solution.
Who wants to make decisions that lead to responsibilities? If we think about it, it is a burden that few people are willing to experience. Let’s give it another meaning. Let’s talk about action and power over the situation. If I succeed the responsibility will be mine if I make a mistake I have the virtue to be able to remedy it. Try it while gaining knowledge. Frustration is one of our worst allies. Teach them from a young age that things will not happen the first time and that this is not a crime, nor a sign of shame or little value. It will give way to the desire to try even if failure is imminent. Error, trial, error trial.
Every mistake has a learning.
In addition to the previous point, talk about the path rather than the goal. You can use some stories or make-up stories, where you show him that a mistake is not a total loss. On the contrary, it emphasizes profits, experiences and learnings. When the time comes when they comment on a mistake, make a list of everything you learned from the situation. Include what skills you would like to develop. They can do it with phrases, drawings, etc.
At some point what others expect of us can cause us many insecurities. To avoid this it is important that when you signal a mistake from your child, you separate him from the whole person. That is, analyze the error and do not judge the person.
An example may be, don’t give it adjectives like “you were smarter on the exam”, change it to “The result of this exam was 6, what do you think changed?”. After analyzing what things he did differently, it is essential to mention that he has the power to modify them. That they don’t evaluate him. Returning to the example of qualifications. They are a school measure, it is a particular event. Remember it is the act, not the person. No matter how many errors accumulate.
Don’t make fun of yourself if he makes a mistake.
Although we are very used to laughing at certain mistakes or situations. When they don’t go out as expected and we think it can make the environment lighter. In the case of children, it is not so easy to differentiate if they are laughing at their person or what happened. Ideally, the first reaction should come from him or her. Be respected and analyzed. In case it causes you laughter, accompany him. Always clarify that it is around the event and not the person.
Teach him to be wrong. Play. Enjoy learning.
There is nothing better than making mistakes within a fun, broad and safe context. Board games can help a lot with this. Playing the wrong. Forget a little about the set goal of the game, which is to win. Wanting to lose to obtain a greater number of learnings, analyzing, laughing and solving. And then they can go on to play it as indicated in the manual. Once they are there when it loses or does not go as you want to observe your little one. If you notice that she wants to cry, scream, or anything else, reassure her that is valid. Direct that energy and choose a way to release your emotion, crying if required, giving a scream, jumping, etc. Then look for answers. What makes you feel or what do you think about this and how to fix it.
First of all, when you see him make a mistake or tell you about it, thank him for the trust. Highlight the courage and try to remedy it. The event of making a mistake will become a space of comfort and even creativity.
You may also like: