Fear in pregnancy is an event that occurs very often. Let’s talk about what it encompasses and how we can start working on it, so that little by little we overcome it.
To begin with, we must recognize that it is completely natural. Pregnancy is something new in your life, which brings with it a lot of implications in different areas. Whether we talk about new mothers or those who have previously gone through this process, it is worth being afraid. Each pregnancy is lived very differently, not because you already have experiences in the field means that fears disappear, they are simply different. You are not the same person who gave birth a few years ago, you changed. In the same way for those who are first-timers, the fear is latent, no matter how much you are scolded for worrying about “more” or no matter how many times you hear that everything will be fine. In this article we will recommend some activities so that you can go feeling calmer and without so much fear, that is, how you can face them:
1. Accept your emotions and defend them. They are valid.
Let’s talk about expectations, those that sold us as women from a young age where pregnancy and motherhood are supposed to be the most beautiful and pleasant experiences of a woman. Let’s break that stereotype, of course, it is desired, that it has its precious tones, that you are happy, but just as that part exists, emotions of sadness, anger, fear, etc. are also experienced. So the first thing we will do is stop ignoring our emotions, just as you recognize happiness, recognize your fears, and stop hiding them, they are there and it is our responsibility to recognize them.
This is super important, let’s take an example, I think there are mosquitoes in my room, but I ignore them although I don’t want them in my room, I don’t stop to observe where they are or what entrance they are accessing the place where I am sitting working, I just try to ignore them, but the sound, the sudden pickets, the itching, all that in the end cause me very great discomfort, of impotence because I am not advancing in the work that I love and adore, it seems that there are many because of the sound they make near me; everything accumulates and then it reaches a point where it explodes. It’s the same with your emotions. Never feel ashamed of what you feel. Each emotion has its function and in particular fear is very important, biological way tries to keep us safe.
2. List your fears.
Once you have identified the emotion of fear, list all those fears. Sometimes when we list them we realize that they were not so many, they were few, or on the contrary that if they were many, but now there is clarity of where to start. Ordering the thought allows you not to drown in it, sometimes the fears are usually very aggressive because they come suddenly and in piles. It is like the example of mosquitoes, when we start looking for them we see that there were two, but you calculated about five because of the overwhelming sound they make when flying near you. That’s right, you must identify them and also catalog them.
The moment you are living, the skills you have, and the conditions surrounding your pregnancy also have great importance to calm or give more energy to your fears. From your support network, economic, and emotional conditions, access to private or public health institutes, conditions of your colony, the country, the time, etc. Make your list, try to make it as detailed as possible, for example:
- Fear of not being able to take good care of my baby.
Perfect, now think that care scares you. List and catalog. You can put in this case:
- Fear of not feeding him well. (health area)
- Fear of not educating him well in the school or social environment. (social/educational area)
Now listen to yourself, that fear is long-term, short, or medium. Write it down. Example:
- Fear of one day eating something that hurts you (short term-a matter of months) (health area).
- Fear of not educating him well when he goes to school (long term + 4 years) (educational area)
Once you have it ready, color different shades that are short, medium, and long-term. This way you will be clear about which ones you have to solve first and at the same time, you will realize that you are getting ahead of yourself and that also causes discomfort, let’s go little by little.
3. Find information and talk about it.
Sharing with your circle of trust can help you a lot, but above all try to chat with people who have scientific information about your fears. If you are afraid of eating something that will harm the baby, go to the nutritionist who can guide you in the best way and you can ask all the questions, so you ensure that everything is backed by research and years of studies.
If your problem is in the emotional area, it is always good to look for a professional, such as a psychologist who will help you do all this work and in turn, can guide you so that you do not feel alone in the process. Remember that going with professionals will give you a very different experience from that of the people who love you. If you combine them, your well-being can greatly increase.
4. Take action
Once you have accepted what you feel and think, listed everything, chosen priorities, and looked for information, it is time to Apply. Putting yourself into action will allow you to face the fears you have or reach those events that are so scary, applying the tools and skills, which although they may not prevent one hundred percent you stop having fears, will help you control them and allow you to feel calmer, as well as be more functional.
We hope that these recommendations will help you to face all those fears that are very natural in pregnancy, but that it is always good to look at them closely to work on them.
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